Embarrassing Secrets
by Lexi Teniro
Summary: Everyone hides SOME kind of embarrassing secret...what about the Kenshingumi? ONE SHOT


**Embarrassing Secrets**

Lexi: I feel like writing something random that has the potential to fully embarrass all of the Kenshin-gumi!!!

KG: O.O; O.Ox; O.O; o.o;

Lexi: ::Wild laughter until whacked by Kaoru's bokkan:: ::rubs back of head:: That wasn't necessary!

Kenshin: This one thinks it was.

Sano: ::Nods solemnly, the effect slightly ruined by the fishbone::

Lexi: ::Humph:: Be that way then.

Kaoru: ::Whacks again::

Lexi: WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!?!

Yahiko: Duh, the disclaimer!

Lexi: Oh. I don't own any of these wonderful characters.

Sano: ::Mutters:: Thank Kami…

Lexi: ::Glares:: I heard that!

Sano: O.O;;;;;

Lexi: Anyway, on with the random and hopefully funny rambling!!

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Aoshi looked around nervously. Good, there was noone in sight. He slipped up to the door and knocked out the code. It opened a little, and he slipped through, locking it behind him. Other dim figures awaited him in the deep shadows. One stood and walked towards him.

"Good, you're just in time. The new shipment is just coming through the portal."

"Really? Is it as large as last time?"

"Bigger."

"Perfect…"

He joined the circle, and they waited for the far door to open. Waiting for what seemed like hours, it finally creaked open, blue light pouring from behind it. Two robed figures staggered out, carrying a large box. They set it in the middle of the circle, and joined it as well.

"Being the leader, would you do the honors?" One asked Aoshi.

"Of course. The knife?"

"Here."

He took the long dagger, and walked forwards to the box. Ripping off the string holding it closed, he splintered the top of the crate. Looking at the contents, he inwardly smiled. Even better then last month

"The shipment from the future has arrived intact! Here we will partake of the sweet nectars of victory—the mysterious mixture, the mystical Pixi Stix!"

All of the people in the room cheered loudly, and ran forward recklessly to the box, grabbing fistfuls of Pixi Stix at random. Aoshi ate more then anyone else, pouring them into his mouth one after another. In no time at all he was dancing around the room.

"Let's all sing praise to the gods of the Pixi Stix! Oh Pixy Stix how we love thee, we sing to you in love, oh my Pixi Stix, I love you, better than pure sugar, you give me strength and I…love…you, PIXI STIX!!" His last note was so high that it almost shattered the windows. This fazed no one, however; they were all singing along. Sanosuke backed away from the peephole in the wall, definitely disturbed.

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Sano walked away from the building, thinking. Wow, so Shinomori was smuggling—what were they? Oh yes—"Pixi Stix" from the future. Just then, he passed a florist. Well, he couldn't just pass by a florist without stopping in. He walked up and into the shop. He didn't see anyone in it.

"Hello?" He called out, just to be safe. No answer. Good. He rubbed his hands together in delight. Rolling up his sleeves, he set to work. He skipped around the shop, humming and moving flowers. A rose here, an iris there, fix the bow on the bouquet…he strew some rose petals on the counter, and paused, smiling, to inhale the sweet scent. Floating around the room, occasionally making a new bouquet out of spare flowers, he "fixed" things.

One hour later, he admired his handiwork. All of the bouquets in the shop had been rearranged to perfection. He resisted the temptation to do a happy dance. But no, that wouldn't be very manly, now, would it? While he was at it, he might as well rearrange the shop displays as well—they were AWFUL! He bustled around (yes, bustled, there really was no better word) moving cards, flowers, signs, and by the time he finished, he thought it looked a lot better. A key turned in the back door. By the time the person entered, Sano was long gone, out the door and headed back to the dojo.

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Saito walked through the back door to the florist. He had received a tip that a bunch of smugglers met somewhere on this street, and he just had to check it out. Huh, the people at this shop certainly did a good job with the displays…ah well, obviously nothing here, he might as well move on.

He left through the back door again, into an alley. The bright sun and lack of people watching made him so happy that he just HAD to skip. He started humming, and then the humming evolved into his skipping song. He had written a song for everything, he just never sang them while people were around. Now he sang his skipping song.

"I love to skip, I skip along, and while I skip, I sing this song, oh, this is my skipping song and I sing it when I skip along, I love nothing better then my skipping song, skip, skip, skip along, singing my happy skipping song…"

Soon he bored of this, and decided to sing a different song.

"This, is, my singing song, I sing it when I sing along, walk and sing, walk along, walk and sing my singing song, singing, singing, all day long, and while I sing, I sing this song, oh, my singing song, my lovely singing song…" He sensed a presence, and immediately silenced and assumed a professional stature.

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Kaoru tried not to burst out laughing. If she hadn't known those four stiff bangs so well, she could've sworn that wasn't Saito. She snuck back through the back door of the Akabeko, from which she had been watching Saito's, er, _interesting_ display. At least HER secret wasn't THAT embarrassing! She went over to the corner and pried open a loose board, revealing her pride and joy. She lit one of the sticks of incense stashed there, and proceeded to gaze over her work. Her old bloodstained indigo ribbon was there, wrapped around a frame filled with a hand-painted portrait. Although the red had faded, the hair was still brilliant. She traced a finger along the painted scar, murmuring sweet nothings at it. She looked over her other acquisitions with pride. The ribbon that had been in her hair when she met him, a piece of his gi, one of his socks, some of the chopsticks he had touched, a leaf that had gotten caught in his hair once, a piece of straw off his sandal, three hairs from his head, a piece of his old broken sheath… Sighing, she touched all of them in a well-practiced routine. Returning them to their places, she continued, once again picking up the portrait and this time kissing it.

"Kaoru, have you seen—OH KAMI JUST WAIT 'TILL KENSHIN HEARS THIS!!"

Kaoru looked up at the unwelcome intrusion and sped at the small offender, bokkan raised. "YOU TELL AND YOU WILL DIE!! DIE I TELL YOU!!"

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Yahiko fled from the onslaught, putting on an act of being scared, but he was inwardly cracking up. Busu had it bad for Kenshin! Well, we all had secrets…

He went back to the dojo and entered his room, carefully closing the door. He heaved a corner of his futon off the floor, and removed his treasures from beneath it.

"Time to play, you guys…"

He picked up the two dolls and made them talk to each other, adopting a high and squeaky voice.

" 'Hi Toshii!' 'Hi Tankana! How are you?' 'I'm good, do you want to have a tea party?' 'OK! Let's get into our best clothes!' "

Yahiko changed them into other hand-sewn dresses he had made, struggling a little with some of the ties in the back. It hadn't been easy, smuggling material in, or the dolls for that matter, but it was worth it…well worth it. He got his overly high voice back on and stood up the dolls again.

" 'Ready, Tankana?' 'Yes, Toshii. Let's go!' "

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Megumi snuck away from the door giggling. She had come looking for Ken-san, and instead had gotten a good BLACKMAIL!! Whee hee!! She walked lightly back to the clinic, whistling a happy tune. She walked in and opened a secret door hidden in the wall. Descending a set of damp stone steps, she entered a large stone room. A number of tough looking men looked up from their various positions around the chamber. Recognizing her, they all stood up and bowed.

"Kitsune-youkai-sama, we await your orders." One said, bowing so low that his head touched the ground.

"The usual. Choose one amongst yourselves to fight Sagara Sanosuke. Remember, never kill him, only harm him badly enough that he needs my help. Uh-huhuhu!!" She laughed.

"Pardon, ma'am, but why never kill him? Do you want him to suffer?"

The reason was actually quite the opposite, but she went with what he said. "Yes. That is the reason. Now hurry, he should be headed back to the dojo soon."

As the men bowed and left through a door in the stone wall, she giggled to herself. Look at her, Takani Megumi, gang leader and plotter. And her plot was pretty good, if she did say so herself. Hurt Sano, he comes to her clinic, she gets to fuss over him and see him shirtless! It always worked, and he never suspected a thing. He just thought that it was all of those people he had beaten as Zanza, come back for revenge. She sighed. How perfect.

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"Megumi-san, we—" Kenshin stopped. He heard voices coming from somewhere. Behind that wall! He put his ear up to it and listened. Several minutes he backed away in shock. Megumi-san, a gang leader? It wasn't possible, that it wasn't. She had spoken aloud to herself at the end, too. Something about getting to fuss over Sano and see him shirtless…ah well. He had better get back to the dojo, Miss Kaoru would worry, that she would. He had only thought to stop by and ask Megumi about something, he didn't even remember what. Walking along the path back to the dojo, he stopped by a hollow tree and fished around. Removing a brown-paper wrapped package of something, he tucked it into his shirt and continued, intent on getting back.

"Kenshin, there you are!"

"Hello Miss Kaoru. This one does not feel well, that he doesn't. Maybe a nap will be a good thing."

Kaoru looked concerned but let him pass. Kenshin went directly to his room, and, after closing the door, sat cross-legged on the futon. He pulled out the package and ripped it open, spilling the contents in front of him. He picked up the fine silk and once again stuck in the needle. His fingers flew, picking out a delicate scene of butterflies in a field. He admired his work. It was sought after by royalty in Europe. Who would ever guess that the fragile redhead who gave her name as Himura Shintina was the legendary manslayer?

No one, and that's what made everything work smoothly.

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Misao skipped away, singing and laughing, braid swinging behind her. Kenshin doing embroidery! Ah, it was classic. What a contrast to the sword fighting she had seen him do! She wandered down to the river, and sat down on the grassy bank. She idly twirled a finger in the water, and several fish came up. She started to sing a sweet, wordless tune.

"Ah ah aaah, ahh ah aah, ah aah ah aaaah…"

The fish nuzzled up against her fingers, and she giggled at its touch. She let it nuzzle for several more seconds, still laughing at it. Then, before it could move, she swiftly grabbed it out of the water and gutted it with one of her kunai, with a ferocity that made the very trees tremble.

"Take that, you stupid fish! Ha!"

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Aoshi approached the river. Here, at last, was a place where he could meditate in peace. He stopped when he heard singing. Hiding behind a tree, he peeked out. There was Misao, sitting on the bank, singing to the fish. What a beautiful, sweet, picture, so peaceful, and—WHAT DID SHE DO TO THAT FISH?! Wow, Misao had ISSUES. He snuck away. Thinking, he decided something. Everyone has issues. All anyone can ever do is…laugh hysterically at everyone else that does and pretend that they personally don't!

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Lexi: ::Wipes away tear:: What a wise revelation by Aoshi…well anyway. No comment on that…hope it was slightly funny at least…

Sano: ::Sulking::

Lexi: Oh, come on, I wasn't THAT evil to you.

Saito: ::Sulking::

Lexi: Oh, ok, I DO deserve that…tee hee hee ;;;…

Kenshin: ::Blushing::

Lexi: This better not be about the embroidery…::glares::

Kenshin: No, it's…Miss Kaoru's secret, that it is.

Lexi: Oh…;;;;; heh heh…

Kaoru: ::Glaring, tapping bokkan on floor menacingly::

Lexi: PLEASEREVIEWGOTTAGO!! ::Flees!::


End file.
